Canoe Club

In Hawai'i, paddling is taken very seriously - teams start practice in March and the season ends in August. Even though it's already late in the season, I talked with the Kailua coach to see if another girl and I could practice with the team to get an introduction to paddling even if we wouldn't be able to compete... so on Thursday, Kelli and I went to practice with the Kailua Women's Novice B Paddling Club.

When the coach showed up Kelli and I tried to introduce ourselves again but he kept brushing us off. Then the entire team started walking away with the canoe! We tagged along because we didn't know what else to do. Because all of the girls had brought their own paddles from home, Kelli and I just figured that we might not get to paddle yet... but as we were loading the canoe a woman snickered, "aren't you going to get paddles?" Of course, we had no idea where to get paddles, but after asking around we finally found some spare ones in a barrel. We had no idea which of the three different kinds of paddles we needed, so we just grabbed two random ones and ran back to the beach.

The team practices with two canoes; Kelli and I loaded into different ones. I was "lucky" enough to be in the seat directly in front of the coach. After our first lap around the island the coach yells that I'm not "locking my arm and using my lats." Of course, he did not bother to teach me HOW to paddle before we got in the water and never mind that I don't even know what a lat is. He also tells me that I'm not keeping in time with the other girls. This is true - the girl at the front of the canoe kept shouting out commands in Hawaiian that prompted the other girls to change into different paddle configurations and I was struggling to comprehend where to flip my paddle while not whacking anyone in the head. I take the coach's advice to heart, though, lock my arm, and feel determined to find a lat (I thought it was a part of the paddle - but it's really the muscle that runs down the side of your back). Before I have an opportunity to practice with my new "locked" arm the coach screams for everyone to double-time it back to the beach. While trying to find a lat twice as quickly I accidentally paddle some of the ocean inside of the boat. When we get to shore he tells me to get out of the boat. At first I thought I didn't understand him correctly, but when he repeated himself a second time I climbed out of the canoe. He asked my "little friend's name" and when I reply that her name is Kelli, he starts yelling down the shore at the other canoe for Kelli to get out of her boat. One girl tells the coach that Kelli's name is actually Ariel so the coach starts yelling across the beach for Ariel to get out of the boat despite my protests that I am, in fact, Ariel and that he is yelling to Kelli. Once Kelli gets out of her canoe the team paddles away. I wish I were joking. The coach didn't give us an explanation - he just took the team and left. Kelli and I thought they might come back to get us so we sat down on the beach and started talking. Forty minutes later the team came back and the coach explained that there's no more room on the team but to be sure to come back in March. Am I looking forward to that!